Black women need to start having less tolerance for BS

Posted by sbfconfessions on May 5, 2010 · 2 Comments 

Black women need to start having less tolerance for BS

Hey my people … so I was doing some writing for my book today and I’m on a chapter that has a lot to do with self-reflection, self-worth, and all things like that. This is a bit of a rant because this subject is crazy. Women are being cheated on, beaten, verbally abused, and everything else under the sun daily but they stay. This is a bit of a rant so please excuse the sloppy writing style and slang….. My thoughts

Ok I know some women are going to definitely not feel me on this but I say all I say because I’ve been there and know what the consequences are of not living by a code and letting men do any and everything to you. Now let’s jump into it.  First of all why do so many women stay with men after they cheat? …. I’ll wait…………………. Most will throw out all the normal answers. “I love him, he promised he wont do this again, he only messed up once, I don’t want to lose him, it was my fault”.. Blah blah. Here’s my problem with all that, making any excuse for your man doing you dirty then you deciding to stay is a direct correlation to how little you love yourself and how you’re lacking self-worth. There isn’t a girl alive that can convince me she totally loves her self and knows her worth, but her boyfriend constantly cheats on her and she won’t leave. I’m not trying to jump down anyone’s throat because I used to be the same way not too long ago. It’s like you have such low self-esteem that’ll you’ll put up with just about anything just to say you’re not alone, you don’t think you can do better, etc. I know all the things that go through a girl’s mind because I felt them many a day and understand the pressure that’s put on women to get a man and have a partner. If I would have just loved myself more when I was younger and didn’t follow the crowd so much  I could have saved my self so much heartache, tears, pain and regrets.

If you talk to most “good, professional, successful men” and ask them if their girl cheated would they leave their answer would usually be yes. Some of these men out here right now are cheating on their girlfriends and wives but let them find out she’s doing the same. They’d be gone so fast it wouldn’t even be funny. Now some may say “well not all men”. Actually yes many would leave and have. Good men know their worth and with the loads of single black women just dying to have a man they know they can find another. Women should feel the same way. We should understand we are a rare and special as well. Now I don’t think every time your significant other does something you don’t like that has to mean the end of the relationship but things like lying, cheating and abuse just have no place for forgiveness with me.

There are some rare cases where I do think that a relationship can be rebuilt after cheating but this post is not to talk about what to do after you find out. This is mainly to talk to the women out there who year after year tolerate mess from their men they know they don’t really love them. If you think your man is cheating he’s cheating. If he’s showing you everything but the video tape and photos that should be enough. You don’t need to go through his phone, clothes, car, apartment, email or anything else. First of all, if you’re doing any of that you already have no trust and should leave anyway. Grown folks shouldn’t have to play inspector gadget. That’s no way to live and it makes for a very unhappy relationship.

My whole point is women need to stop tolerating being treated bad; a man only does to you what you allow, and like I have been self reflecting and trying to love my self more and more each day many others need to as well.

Filed under relationships, Uncategorized · Tagged with abuse, black men, Black people, cheating, dating, ladies, marriage, relationships, women